The Stotch Sorrow
by EbbyGothic
Summary: Butters fondness for dressing as a female is questioned causing a desperate and depressed Butters to drop a bombshell confession on an unsuspecting Kyle and Kenny. What is the Stotch family secret which haunts and troubles the blonde? Rated M for adult themes of violence. Warning: this fic is very emotional. Not meant for a sensitive audience.


Whenever the idea of cross dressing come up Butters was always the first to be there dressed as his alter ego Majorine whom the boys had created many years back. Now all the guys were eighteen or close to turning eighteen, the idea occasionally come up between the close knit group of Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Butters when they were bored and needed to shock the town folk to get their kicks.

Once again with nothing else to do Kyle had suggested becoming females for the day and parading through town. As usual Butters worked himself up in a state of excitement.

"We get to see her again." Butters chirped over eagerly causing the other men to roll their eyes right back into their heads.

"Listen Butters are you gay?" Cartman quizzed, not caring how the question sounded.

The words Eric had just spoken were on the lips of the four men for years. Butters was quirky and often over friendly, but his eagerness to adorn female garments only drove home their suspicion.

Butters swallowed hard as all eyes affixed upon him.

"No….. I don't think I'm gay." He choked out.

"Then why dude?" Stan questioned.

"Why what fellas?" Butters answered beginning to get nervous at the rapid fire questions.

"Why whenever we decide to dress up as chicks for shit and giggles do you get insanely excited?" Kyle added.

"I don't." Butters mumbled becoming defensive as he seemed to be retreating within himself and becoming withdrawn.

"You do dude, if you're not gay is there a possibility you're trans?" Kenny inquired softly approaching the smaller blonde and placing a hand gently upon his shoulder for support.

"Whatever it is Butters, we'll understand." Kyle explained.

Butters eyes welled up and he began to choke on the words he was trying to speak. Instead of a reply all that Butters managed to get out were near silent whimpers as he could no longer fight the battle against his tears.

Turning to flee Butters was stopped from making his dramatic exit by Kenny and Kyle who were concerned for their childhood friend. The pair looked to each other, then back to Stan and Cartman who seemed unsympathetic to the visibly troubled blonde.

"Guys, we're gonna take Butters somewhere private and discuss what's bothering him." Kenny suggested, the idea affirmed by Kyles stern nod of support as Butters sobs died down to sniffles as he wiped his nose on his sleeve like a child.

"Whatever, go have your little fag party then. We'll go play X-box at my place." Cartman scoffed as the pair turned and headed towards Cartmans house.

Kenny and Kyle led Butters into a small, secluded development in South Park. The area being new was a sanctuary for them as people in the town were often too ignorant to give something new a chance therefore anytime of the day or night the new mall was usually empty except for the employees at the stores which since the malls grand opening a year ago, were slowly going out of business.

Kyle and Kenny gently held Butters arms, one on each side of the smaller blonde as they escorted him into a meagre coffee shop. A barista came and took the boys orders before leaving quickly.

Kyle cleared his throat as Kenny and him gave Butters their full attention.

"Now….. what's the story with you and dressing as a girl?" Kenny asked, his tone soothing and gentle making Butter feel safe.

"Yeah dude, we're not being assholes like the other two, we're simply worried about you." Kyle added.

"Exactly Cartman was an insensitive tub of goo asking you if you're gay, just out like that. Fucking asshole. Even a simple minded guy like me can see there's more to it then sexuality." Kenny stated.

"That's right, you get a twinkle in your eyes and you beam whenever you become Majorine. Thinking back, you never complained when we made you do it all those years ago." Kyle announced.

"And did you realise recently you've began talking about your alter ego like she's a real person?" Kenny inquired.

The barista bought the coffees to the table and Kyle slung him a twenty instructing him to keep the change as tip. The intruder left and Butters clutched his cup in his hands, lightly shaking as he looked down at the cup.

"She is real." Butters finally croaked out.

Kenny and Kyle nodded as Butters finally looked toward them, his artic blue eyes red and puffy as he stared the pair up and down.

"Go on, we won't judge you for anything you have to say." Kenny said smiling at Butters.

Taking a sip on the warm hot chocolate he'd ordersed, Butters swallowed hard.

"When I was born, I was a twin. My parents were thrilled to little bits. Their pride and joy, perfect pair. Leopold and Louisa or as we were called Leo and Lulu. Lulu was my best friend; we'd play together, eat together and shared a room. She was amazing. I used to braid her long blonde hair when we got a bit older, geez she was pretty. Once we'd turned five we'd moved from Hawaii to Boulder. Lulu and I began kindergarten. The new town was great and school was amazing; with my sister and best friend by my side and me by hers the world was so simple. I loved my little sister and being two minutes older, I was a big brother and I always protected her." Butters explained before he began to choke up once again.

"Two weeks after we started kindergarten Lulu and I played dress up that weekend we wore each others clothes, Lulu would call herself Butters and say she was a boy and she'd look just like me. Due to my sister that's how my nickname stuck. Dressups became our favourite game and we'd do it whenever we got spare time. Three months later Lulu and I had finished playing dressups that day and I was sitting with dad watching cartoons as mom peeled potatoes for dinner. From the kitchen I heard my mom asking me where Lulu was and I remembered I'd been asked to watch her. Dad and I searched around the house calling Louisas' name as loud as we could. I never saw my sister alive again and it was all my fault fellas." Butters retold through soft cries.

"Dude, what happened to her?" Kyle asked.

Butters face had turned red and he clutched a napkin as his tears streamed down his face. Kenny sat, lip quivering at the story as he thought of Karen and Kyle was in shock hearing what he'd heard.

"A-a-a-bducted. Lulu was abducted by a pedophile. She was still dressed as me and this guy was convicted and on the offenders list but still living near the school. Turns out he'd seen us playing in the school yard and he'd taken a liking to me and found where we lived. He frequently hung around waiting for a chance to strike, when he saw Lulu he thought she was me and grabbed her from our yard. Once he found out he'd taken the wrong child he slit her throat from…." Butter paused breaking down.

After composing himself once more Butters continued. "Mom and Dad were called to the morgue to identify the body. They took me along, the last time I laid eyes on my little sister she was pale, cold, lifeless. All the colour in her pink cheeks was drained and her golden hair was soaking in blood and grimy water because the sicko dumped her in a lake. My little sister, the only one I'd ever have had been taken from us because some asshole couldn't control himself. Although I feel responsible, it should've been me on the morgue slab. He wanted me and took poor, beautiful, innocent Lulu. He was found and arrested, witness sightings and all helped put him on death row, although he appealed claiming insanity so his sentence was reduced from death to life in low security with the possibility of parole after thirty years. My parents got scared and could no longer exist in Boulder. Mom fell into deep depression and dad began to drink and get abusive. Mom loved me, Dad blamed me. Then out of the blue they agreed they no longer wanted to live in Boulder, we had to leave before it tore what was left of our family apart. Two weeks after Lulu's death we loaded our belongings on a truck and left. We bought my little sister to South Park with us and buried her, where no one will ever hurt her again. South Park was a fresh start, no one knew our story and we built a new life. But I never forgot. The day I looked upon my lifeless little sister a piece of me died, they say kids can't understand such happenings but I did. Once here I became the fucked up screwball you all know today. I was a happy, outgoing child but when tragedy hit I just lost a part of me along with all my confidence. The only thing I still have from Lulu is the nickname she gave me and everytime I hear it I look toward the sky and hope she's watching me, her big brother Butters." He explained before trailing off. "So that's my problem, whenever I end up dressed as Majorine it feels like I'm a kid playing with Lulu again and that this time I was smart enough to give her her own cute nickname. It feels like she's alive and whenever I dressup I think she will walk out of her room in my clothes and smile at me, those rosy cheeks full of life." Butters finished.

Kenny's eyes were welled up as a tear slipped from one and Kyle just stared toward Butters his expression saddened.

"You said Louisa is buried in South Park right?" Kyle quizzed.

Wiping his eyes Butters nodded, red faced and unable to speak anymore.

"I got an idea." Kyle mused as he stood up from the table and beckoned the others to join him.

Kyle drove his fathers car as Butters rode shotgun directing him.

The three came to a small hidden cemetery and exited the vehicle.

Clutching enormous bunches of flowers the men walked following the shorter blonde. He led them through the graves until they reached an unkempt, dirty tombstone.

Butters crouched wiping off the dirt from the stone.

_Here lies Louisa Anne Scotch. Beloved daughter and sister. Taken too soon. May angels sing her to sleep._

Kyle and Kenny plucked weeds from atop the grave and tidied the area. The men all placed their flowers and Kenny and Kyle bowed their heads.

"Say whatever you want to Butters." Kenny prodded.

Butters cleared his throat and snorted back more tears.

"Lulu, I miss you like crazy. All these years I've been blaming myself for your death when it was nothing I did wrong. I failed you in a way, I wasn't there playing with you that day when mom and dad said to watch you but, if I had've been we would probably both be in heaven now. You're the first girl I truly loved and not in a sick way, you were my baby sister and I loved you, now I can never feel that strong love again. I've been hiding everything for years and I'm sorry for that. I hope that I've become a man that you'd be proud to call big brother, I know you're watching over mom, dad and I. You're our guardian angel and one day we'll meet again. Oh and these two guys are great their names are Kyle and Kenny, they're my best friends and the only two I've ever told about you so look after them too. I promise to come see you more often Lulu, you deserve to not be forgotten and I never have, I still play dressups all the time with my friends, just like we used to. Mom and Dad have tried to forget and move on, but that's not me. You were my closest and I should've been there for you but I wasn't and we can't change that. So…. I love you little sis and I'll bring you cake next week when it's our birthday and that's a promise Louisa. I gotta go now, but I'm in good hands. Love you baby sis." Butters said before placing a kiss on his hand and then on the tombstone.

Kenny and Kyle stook both tight lipped feeling saddened by Butters confession and speech to his sister. Butters stood up and turned toward the two and smiled as he stepped towards his friends and wrapped the pair up in a hug.

"Thanks fellas." Butters chirped as the trio walked away into the fast setting day.

No one would ever understand Butters real pain, but Kenny and Kyle could try to relate. That was the day when anyone in South Park came close to understanding the nervous wreck that was Butters Scotch and from that day as Butters had told Lulu; Kenny, Kyle and him became the closest friends. Butters could never fix what happened, but he could find happiness in the life he'd created for himself. Leopold "Butters" Stotch had shared the family secret and gained two buddies, contentment had found him and all it had taken was a secret and two men with little siblings who could use their imaginations and open their hearts as well as their minds.


End file.
